Insert Passionately Hyped Singer Idol Ship Here
by AsterOfTheMoon
Summary: The Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society: Three Agents are dispatched to the Macross Frontier fandom, because not one, but two Sues have entered the fandom, each of their own volition. And the ensuing catfight could get deadly...


(A/N: Do not take this fic as anything against shipping. I am okay with shipping. I am not okay with _fangirl-induced_ shipping. My general rule for shipping is that I am okay with "excuses" given for shipping [they look cute together/they make a crack pairing/having a pairing like that would be epic/uh, hello? They get married in the end?] but I do not agree with pages that tote "evidence" for ships [OMG THEY WERE TOGETHER IN THE SAME SCENE FOR THAT ONE SHOT IN THAT ONE EPISODE], and I do not like Die For Our Ship and slandering characters just to make another ship popular.

Regarding Sheryl/Alto/Ranka, I love both the girls. I do have a Ranka bias because she's voiced by NakaMegs [I'd probably love Sheryl 10x more if Endo Aya did her singing voice] but I'd be perfectly fine if either ship happened in the second movie. My love for whichever one of the characters does not influence what ship I would support.

Some more character development for Akai as well as an experiment as to how the three actually run a mission together.

I'm in a really bad mood right now because of chemistry and my grade, so just read the fic...)

* * *

_This morning, popular idol singer Sheryl Nome was found dead in her bedroom, stabbed in the stomach by a knife._

_Police are still waiting on more information, but other than the circumstances of the death, no trace of who the murderer was can be found. Anyone under suspicion was not available or was located in other places during the crime._

_It has also been suggested that the murder has something to do with the murder of Ranka Lee._

_The murder is concluded to have taken place at least three hours within Sheryl's; Ranka was hung by the neck in a place impossible for her to have reached by herself. Neither idol singer was known to have been in any conflicts or recent scandals prior to the murders._

_More information will be posted soon – _

A hand turned off the television.

Slowly, a figure got up and walked out, muttering, "That bitch." She went outside and concentrated on nothing but her destination. This couldn't be happening.

She knocked on the door of the house she had reached. The door opened.

"So," said the one opening the door, "you had to sink this low."

"I wouldn't say so much for yourself."

"Sheryl's death was necessary," replied the first, scoffing. "She was intervening between two lovers meant for each other. Besides, Alto and Ranka would have been united in love in their grief – something you have ruthlessly ended."

"You can't comprehend true love," said the second. "Ranka was unworthy. Sheryl had the valor and honor Alto deserved, and instead you've cut her off for a pretender."

"My powers cannot reverse an action you have done. But rest assured, we will meet again, and _you_ will be bringing back the true love of Alto."

"I refuse to do so unless you have brought Sheryl back. And even if you do, why must Ranka get in the way?"

"But I won't be bringing Sheryl back unless Ranka is here."

"Then we will part ways. But we _will_ settle this, rest assured."

The visitor departed from the house and went back to her abode. She would not back down.

Behind the two, a whole intergalactic community mourned.

* * *

"_Two_ Sues?"

Aster, Chrys, and Akai pored over the computer.

"Apparently, Nakamura Kiseki – this one here – came into the fandom a week ago, kyaa." Aster pointed to a location dot on the screen. "Then, Kaneyama Kyoukai, this second one here, came in one day later. They had a conflict of interest."

"So two Sues who aren't working together, huh," said Akai. "Rather ironic."

"It got worse. They got in a shipping war. Kiseki supported Ranka, and Kyoukai supported Sheryl. They got in a fight, and then finally they decided to invoke Die For Our Ship…they each murdered one of the idols in an attempt to glorify the other."

Akai paled.

"You mean…One of those bitches killed _Sheryl_? Okay, that's it! _I'm gonna kill that bitch!_" She immediately followed up with a flurry of insults downcrying the Sues and how they were going to go _down_.

"B-b-but what about Ranka?" said Chrys, unconsciously going for the "Kira~!" pose.

"Ranka can go to hell for all I care! She's not badass!"

"…at least this isn't about shipping," muttered Aster.

"Now's not the time to take sides against characters," said Tash, walking by. "This is a problem. When Sues leave the fandom, stuff gets reversed – but if we just haul them out, those two won't come back to life. We need to get the Sue to resurrect them. Are they main characters?"

Aster, Akai, and Chrys looked at each other.

"Uh…yeah."

"How main?"

"As in, without these two, the series doesn't exist."

"Oh, the series could exist without _Ranka_," said Akai, "but _Sheryl_ – "

"That's it, we're going into the fandom now," said Aster, pulling her two friends towards the equipment room.

* * *

"Aster."

"Huh?"

"You dropped your Copyright."

It was Aramayis, who had been tracking Aster's recovery status after her strange recovery from insanity. He picked it up and handed it to her.

"Thanks," said Aster, picking it up.

A jolt went through her.

_This is odd. Somewhere between Adrian's death and going crazy I could have sworn I felt something around him. It was really weird, like there was something inside me or something, some kind of feeling or emotion or something (but of course that's not possible, so something like it) that kinda happened every time I was around him. But I don't feel it anymore. How come I don't? I kinda miss it…_

Aster shakily took a breath and walked off. He observed her patiently. There was something strange.

* * *

At the Nyan-Nyan Restaurant, patrons and people who had worked with Ranka mourned over the death of an idol. "Seikan Hikou" played in the background as a tribute to her. Most people ate in silence – there was nothing much to say.

Then suddenly Kaneyama Kyoukai burst in with a league of followers.

"How _dare_ you worship the false idol!" she yelled. "All of you are a brand of sheep. How dare you not worship the true goddess of all, Sheryl Nome?"

"Sheryl and Ranka cooperated," said one of the patrons, feeling odd. "They were friends. And we're all sad for Sheryl too, but we do like Ranka…"

"Ranka was a pretender!"

"Not so fast," said a voice.

Nakamura Kiseki appeared, wearing a waitress's outfit – she worked at Nyan-Nyan too. "Please do not mind these people. They do not comprehend. They don't understand the real, true singing of Ranka Lee. They don't understand how many people she inspired, how many people she saved."

The patrons in the restaurant cheered Kiseki on, while an uproar erupted from Kyoukai's group. Sueish energy was being projected everywhere – their attempts to manipulate the other crowds slowly taking effect but essentially nullifying each other. Every time Kiseki lost someone in the restaurant to Kyoukai's cause, Kyoukai lost one of her entourage to Kiseki. And both were calling on the names of Ranka and Sheryl to reach their goals.

Suddenly some people could hear fighting from outside the restaurant…

"…but _now_?"

"I'm hungry!"

"You're _always_ hungry. Get over it."

"It's Chinese food. How can I resist?"

"We're supposed to be catching a damn _Sue_!"

The door opened to reveal Chrys, Aster, and Akai behind it, about to walk in for lunch.

There was a long silence as the three stared inside. Kiseki was on top of Kyoukai trying to rip out her hair, while others were mid-punch, about to strangle each other, or whatever. For some reason the Zentradi patrons had forgotten that they could macronize themselves, so everyone fighting was in human size. But with the entrance of the three, everyone was frozen in position, staring at the three.

"Well," said Akai, "this seems to be a bad time."

And contrary to everyone's expectations, she jumped right into the frozen fight, right at the Sues.

Immediately Aster and Chrys backed her up, and the fight jump-started again.

Akai had to be restrained from her desire to bash in Kiseki's head in for murdering Sheryl. She settled for repeatedly calling Kiseki a bitch, a w-e, a -, and a whole other things that would require me to use things other than dashes to censor. Aster sighed while she stepped on the face of two Sheryl and Ranka fanboys.

It took a while for Chrys to realize that Kyoukai had vanished.

But Kyoukai's presence or absence had not affected anything; the crowds were still going at it, and after a while Akai noticed Kiseki was gone, too, presumably to chase after Kyoukai. Chrys wanted to quell the battle in Nyan-Nyan, and she was hungry too, but in the end they abandoned the chaotic restaurant and went after the Sues.

Kiseki and Kyoukai were nowhere to be seen, and since there were two Sues in the same fandom, the device that was supposed to be tracking them was going haywire.

* * *

"Well, even if we can't find the Sues, let's at least take a look at the bodies," said Akai.

Even though bodies were supposed to be recycled, thanks to the influence of Kyoukai and Kiseki, the bodies of the two idols were publicly mourned in Disney's-Snow-White-esque coffins with glass. Akai griped and complained over Sheryl's body (although she was crammed next to a bunch of other mourners), while Chrys was sad about Ranka.

"Would it be possible to Copyright the bodies?" said Chrys.

"Copyrights don't work with death, kyaa," said Aster. "If we Copyrighted them, we'd only be reinforcing their death."

Of course, bad luck would have them and to add insult to injury, Kiseki and Kyoukai showed up to start more riots as to who would resurrect which idol. Aster, Chrys, and Akai were once again caught up in brawls regarding the two idols when they began to wish it would just _stop_.

Akai finally snapped and pulled out her spear, swinging it around. Slowly, people started to back away – it had gone from a civil brawl to weapon-guided.

"I normally don't kill civilians," said Akai, "but I don't want you people pushing me!"

Then several of the civilians pulled out guns (where they'd gotten them, nobody really knew).

"Oh, crap," said Akai.

Akai did the logical thing and ran away.

A horde of angry people chased after her, and Aster realized she needed to follow Akai (because there was no way in hell that jun-akuma would protect her, and Akai was not quite gun-immune). This left Chrys in the middle of a different brawl next to two coffins and two very angry Sues.

Aster flew back, panting.

"I got rid of all the guns, kyaa," she said, "but I hope Akai-chan can really run!"

* * *

"_Damn it, guns are banned in Japan!_" yelled Akai.

She wasn't been chased by guns anymore, but she still had an angry mob against her, and she did in fact know that even if they were speaking Japanese…this was _Macross_.

And then Akai did the most bullheaded, idiotic thing she might do in her entire life.

She turned around and, spear exposed, ran _towards_ the angry mob.

Surprisingly, it worked. Most people's survival instincts were greater than the desire to rip and tear Akai apart, and the group inadvertently split apart to let her run.

"…that was random," said Akai.

Next to her, the jun-akuma nodded.

* * *

"…"

Aster and Chrys had finally gotten rid of most of the civilians, leaving Kyoukai and Kiseki duking it out by themselves. Aster and Chrys were unsuccessfully trying to put them down but they simply could not restrain them.

Then a figure came leaping upon them…it was a person…a girl…Akai.

She floored both of them with a surprise attack and placed her spear in a direction that, with one strike, would get them both.

"All right," said Akai. "I'm sure neither of you are martyrs, so if you don't end up resurrecting them, I'll have to kill you to at least feel better about myself. So, I'm gonna kill you if you don't resurrect them in ten."

"But what – "

"Nine. Eight…"

The two Sues gulped.

Immediately, Ranka and Sheryl got up from the coffins, shocking many, and both were wondering why they were trapped in glass cases. People released them, and while it was a really bad time, with intense pressure from the crowd, they started singing a duet together. (The Sues were still in the fandom. Everyone was still a little weird.)

"Well, that's good," said Akai. "Oh, and just for good measure – "

She stabbed Kiseki anyway.

Everyone gasped at the sight of the spear sticking out of Kiseki's upper torso as she gasped for air and fell over dead.

Akai then proceeded to take out the spear and plant it in Kyoukai as well, and within the next five minutes the two were dead.

"Well, that's it for us. Don't worry, you'll all forget about it."

Akai opened a plothole and pushed the bodies of the Sues back into the Library, grinning with the jun-akuma trailing after her. Everyone else, including Alto (who had shown up at the news of the two miraculously being alive), Sheryl, Ranka, Aster, and Chrys, continued staring in shock.

* * *

"Hey, in my defense, if I didn't kill them, they would have killed Ranka and Sheryl again anyway."

Chrys and Aster were still staring at her with unmistakable horror.

"Well, we have a Gary-Stu Gutter, I suppose I'm the Mary-Sue Cutter? Hehehehehe…"

The two were still mortified.

"But…you didn't have to drag their bodies back and forth through the basement as a warning to those who killed your favorite characters."

"They had to know!"

"And you didn't have to cut off their hair and tie it into braids as your 'prize'."

"It was a necessary bout of pride!"

"And you didn't have to dissect their bodies, shove the pieces into jars, and shove them into the incinerator, then burn the incinerator."

"_I had to do that!_"

Tash walked by, giving Akai a stack of paperwork.

"Here," said Tash. "We have to cover damage regarding the dead bodies…"

Akai blinked.

"It was still worth it," she said, and proceeded to take out a pen.

As soon as Tash walked out of the room, she put down the pen and shoved all the paperwork into the new incinerator.


End file.
